I was lost and miserable; searching for anything.  I would like to say I found Christ … but really … he found me.  I rested on the scripture in Ephesians 1:4 — “For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight in love.”

I enjoyed discovering my new journey of living for Christ.  Life seemed exactly what I expected as a Christian until one day heading to my car in a parking garage I was sexually assaulted.  It was a time of great confusion, question, and emotions. It was also a time of decisions as a weak & shattered new believer to either continue to put my faith in Christ … or not.  I barely knew scripture, but found and rested on Psalm 147:3 — “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds”.

I became a new wife trying to balance the push of the “glass ceiling” in a male-dominated military engineering field along with my life for Christ.  After having my “miracle baby,” I retired from the push of the glass ceiling to the push of a stroller.  A new battle ensued.  It was called an identity crisis.  I was so tied to my identity in my profession, I had forgotten my true identity was in Christ alone.  Ephesians 1:4–6 — “even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.”

I began working part time for children with disabilities.  One day, I was in a freak work accident that severely injuried my back.  The injury, as well as a botched surgery left me in moderate to severe chronic pain.  By this time I had experienced and believed that God does work all things to the good and began my embrace of Romans 5:3-4 — “we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurances produces character and character produces hope.”

I worked on the practical approach of allowing my suffering to create endurance, character and hope.  A very unexpected reality ensued.  As an ex-runner I fantasized about running again,  but did not “hope.”  Through the determined prayer of my daughter, I was guided one step at a time to and through a local 5K … finishing in the top 20 for my age grouping.  I have renewed understanding of Hebrews 1:2 — “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.  And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”

As I wander and ponder through my 60’s I find myself a caregiver for my mama and part-time caregiver for my granddaughter.  God has directed me to a new community and ministries.  I am excited to continue the journey mentioned in Philippians 2:13 — “for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.”